It started off with this massive argument over the boyfriend with my parents which ended embarrassingly, in yelling and anger.
I went to church to teach the kids, but everything I did, I felt I was doing it all too grudgingly.
Left to go to NLCC, the service I go to, to actually listen to the Pastor speak. But before the service starts, we usually go through some praise songs and this week, we started this new song, and it touched me.
I had to google it to find some of the lyrics:
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay
This is my song through all my days
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
It was as if this song was made for me. Through this song, I knew God was telling me "I still exist, beyond anything else. Beyond your troubles and your chaotic life, I'm still here and you still need to worship me because I will help you through everything and guide you through your life"
The sermon, which is when the Pastor (the leader of our church) stands up to speak to us about the bible was awesome.
This wasn't the bible verse in which the Pastor was referring to, but it was a reminder for me:
"ASK and it will be given to you, SEEK and you will find, KNOCK and the door will be opened to you."
Impossible as it sounds in crazy weird scenarios, it works, its real. Kinda cool. Actually, its really cool.
As human as I am, I'm still annoyed at my rents and right this moment, I'm not wanting to be around them for a while just so I can get rid of this anger and grudge I've got against them right this minute, but its not helping when my mum is playing the piano in the next room. It's like shes proclaiming "HEY LISA, you can't escape me, I still exist and I'm right in the next room"
ANGER!
but 'life goes on.. how many brothers fell victim to the streets, rest in peace young nigga theres a heaven for a G' heh heh
xx
I agree! my weekend was chaotic in terms on emotions also. :(
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling drained, depressive and pessimistic about things :(
and I've got alot of things to sort out. But yeah as the songs' lyrics say in the midst of all this chaos and problems etc.. "In the chaos and confusion, i know your soveriegn still'. That song is just beautiful, and its good it was played at Sermon, because it was made for you :D
I will certainly pray for you that things work out with you're mum and the whole situation. I believe it will workout, actually for sure. You're mum will realise that your thoughts,opinions and choices do matter. You know how I told you that I sorta understand you with the whole parents thing? I was meaning in the way that my parents way of thinking and my thinking don't match. They clash. That's the same with you yea? Yeah thats what I was meaning.
Having a grudge actually makes you feel shittier and bad yeah? For me when I had grudges, nothing progressed/change. It's so true about the way you think of things.
I actually realised that GOD loves all of us and is always around us. (how late of me). I never realised all my life, and GOD is always there and I just didnt take notice of it.
HIMNAE! halsooitsoh. Right now it probs looks like theres no light in that dark tunnel, but both of us will see the light!
I love that bible verse that Pastor Josh said at Sermon yesterday; ASK and you will recieve, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened to you.
oh wow thats like a whole new blog joyce . lol .
ReplyDeletein the end lisa , it's your choice . not theirs . like im sure you wanna respect their wishes and stuff . but yea , it's your life and you dont wanna like end up with some guy that doesnt make you happy for the rest of your life because your parents will prefer that . things will work out babe :)
racist
ReplyDeletehaha joyce, you really do surprise me sometimes, do you know that? :)
ReplyDeletei only just realised why you said 'racist' young. ahhhh in my history essays my teacher didnt seem to say anything about it...>< ehh its changed now :)
ReplyDeleteBetter.
ReplyDelete