Flying freeeeeee

27.01.10 

Day 7

on the seventh day he rested. The Sabbath day. seven seven seven. Lucky number 7

Its funny how everything just works out when you let go of it. I've removed two massive pebbles that have been deeply embedded into me that I didn't know was affecting me at all. To set it up visually, it's like I was limping around thinking I was fine when in fact I had a torn muscle. But as that muscle was discovered and healed, I can now finally leap, run and jump freely like I couldn't before.

Have you seen Billy Elliot the musical that was held in the Capitol Theatre a few years ago? The lyrics from that scene when the judges asks Billy to explain what it feels like when he's dancing totally captures how I feel.

"It's like that there's a music playing in your ear,

And I'm listenin', and I'm listenin', and then I disappear!

And then I feel it move me, like a burning deep inside,

something bursts in me wide open, impossible to hide.

And suddenly I'm flying, flying like a bird,

like electricity, electricity, sparks inside of me

and I'm free, I'm free~~"

I'm not free because I was a prisoner, but because letting go of these, I'm able to now fill that spot where the pebble existed with something else, something more important. And to be filling it with these pebbles, I had to let go of them whether I liked it or not.

In this case, it was Aaron, and also forgiving my parents from my heart for the anger and hurt they caused me to feel, had to be gone. 

Aaron and I are just on break so its actually not that bad. Kinda complicated actually. It just wasn't the right time for us to be together right now - maybe in 5 or 6 years time.... So you mightn't be able to understand the reason why all this had to happen, but to me it all makes sense and had to be done. 

28.01.10

I put in new silicon based wipers on my brother's car cos the original ones were made of really stiff rubber or something, and it made that sound that friction of rubber against rubber makes. 

29.01.10

I'll be heading to New Zealand tomorrow morning to nope, not the famous Dunedin we always hear about with the massive deadly hill and drunk teenagers, but to this nice place called Queenstown.

On a random ugly note, Jasmine told me that if you starve yourself, you become 'gastric'..... :-|