Flying freeeeeee

27.01.10 

Day 7

on the seventh day he rested. The Sabbath day. seven seven seven. Lucky number 7

Its funny how everything just works out when you let go of it. I've removed two massive pebbles that have been deeply embedded into me that I didn't know was affecting me at all. To set it up visually, it's like I was limping around thinking I was fine when in fact I had a torn muscle. But as that muscle was discovered and healed, I can now finally leap, run and jump freely like I couldn't before.

Have you seen Billy Elliot the musical that was held in the Capitol Theatre a few years ago? The lyrics from that scene when the judges asks Billy to explain what it feels like when he's dancing totally captures how I feel.

"It's like that there's a music playing in your ear,

And I'm listenin', and I'm listenin', and then I disappear!

And then I feel it move me, like a burning deep inside,

something bursts in me wide open, impossible to hide.

And suddenly I'm flying, flying like a bird,

like electricity, electricity, sparks inside of me

and I'm free, I'm free~~"

I'm not free because I was a prisoner, but because letting go of these, I'm able to now fill that spot where the pebble existed with something else, something more important. And to be filling it with these pebbles, I had to let go of them whether I liked it or not.

In this case, it was Aaron, and also forgiving my parents from my heart for the anger and hurt they caused me to feel, had to be gone. 

Aaron and I are just on break so its actually not that bad. Kinda complicated actually. It just wasn't the right time for us to be together right now - maybe in 5 or 6 years time.... So you mightn't be able to understand the reason why all this had to happen, but to me it all makes sense and had to be done. 

28.01.10

I put in new silicon based wipers on my brother's car cos the original ones were made of really stiff rubber or something, and it made that sound that friction of rubber against rubber makes. 

29.01.10

I'll be heading to New Zealand tomorrow morning to nope, not the famous Dunedin we always hear about with the massive deadly hill and drunk teenagers, but to this nice place called Queenstown.

On a random ugly note, Jasmine told me that if you starve yourself, you become 'gastric'..... :-|

my everyday.

||:  Anger. Hurt. Frustration. Misunderstanding.  :|| Fine

||  Joy. Peace. Comfort. || D.C.

Music and Fat Cherries

I've been thinking quite a bit about music, sound, lyrics for the past few days...


What defines a 'good song' :S lyrics? I'd definitely say so. 


(Speaking of the word 'definitely', I used to think 'definately' was the way to spell it, since I was in year 2! 
www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com haha)


There's this talented guy on youtube called Chris Cendana. He's filipino and writes his own songs and has an amazing voice. He's an acoustic player and all the special sound effects you hear in his videos are all hand made, by him. Tapping the guitar, scraping the side of a tin can, shaking some sand or rice in a container...you get the gist.

The first two songs playing on the list are by Chris Cendana. He's even on itunes now! :D

Another youtube singer I've really liked is this girl called Alyssa. I think its partly because she reminds me a lot of Vanessa Hudgens, who starred in High School Musical which I absolutely loved. (yes I totally remember when I forced our whole ryde group to watch it with me instead of some other movie, in which Andy agreed "its actually not that bad. I wouldn't mind watching it again." haha) 

Alyssa and this other guy combined a cover - "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, which is the third song down.


On a different note, my rents went to the markets the other day and brought home these massive cherries.

my this week

I've been a complete room-hermit this whole week from Sunday night through till Thursday morning, doing nothing but sitting in front of the computer and reading books in my room.
But on Thursday, this thing called '10 days with Jesus' from church started. 


Twas a very bitter session for me honestly. I did not want to be there. But for some reason, I felt that if i walked up and left, I'd be losing to the enemy, to myself, that a part of me would be ripped off and I wouldn't get it back. 
I'm sure glad I stayed, I could feel my heart melting, that this bitter cold heart I had was slowly turning warm. Cold warm, not warm warm, but it was warming.
I drove home that night and came across Scott from RSC09 on the roads :) Seeing old familiar faces certainly increased my mood to a +5.


On Friday it was my mother's 50th birthday and I left the shopping till the last minute, literally, 30 minutes. Seriously not enough time if you ask any girl. I prayed in desperation for a quick guide to the perfect present. 
I found a pair of these ivory Milana italian leather shoes. $220. Everything else had sale signs, except these. WHY?! (I only planned to spend around $100 on my mum with my brother, but these shoes were absolutely perfect I had to get them. Also cos its her big five-zero, the 'half-way mark' of her life, I needed to get them. plus her fav pair of ivory shoes randomly disappeared about a year ago) 


Mum called then and said "Don't bother buying me a present, just come home cos we have to go out to dinner in 15minutes"
I didn't tell her I was buying her a present and got grumpy that she found out. She must've heard it in my voice and she said "Okay, if you're bummed, buy me a nice nail polish cos I know some are quite pricey."


The check out lady told me these shoes were also on sale - for $84.95! WOWW! Also, the nail polish I had in mind were $15. This shopping day was perfect. Awesome bargain, done within half an hour and a perfect use of $100.
Truly it had to be God. 
Heres a picture of the shoes :D

Mother naturally LOVED them. hehehe :)


It was pouring a second ago. Despite the humidity, sweat, heat and the complaints of it all, I love hot weather - summer. I was standing at the window watching the rain fall down, hitting tiles 4 storeys below. One day I really want to wear a pair of goggles and hop outside whilst it rains and stare up at the sky to watch the rain fall down. 

In the chaos, in confusion

So my weekend has been pretty chaotic, in terms of my emotions - individuallly speaking, my Sunday.

It started off with this massive argument over the boyfriend with my parents which ended embarrassingly, in yelling and anger. 

I went to church to teach the kids, but everything I did, I felt I was doing it all too grudgingly. 

Left to go to NLCC, the service I go to, to actually listen to the Pastor speak. But before the service starts, we usually go through some praise songs and this week, we started this new song, and it touched me.

I had to google it to find some of the lyrics:

In the chaos, in confusion

I know You're Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness 

You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won't delay

This is my song through all my days

There is no one else for me

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free

Now I live to bring Him praise

It was as if this song was made for me. Through this song, I knew God was telling me "I still exist, beyond anything else. Beyond your troubles and your chaotic life, I'm still here and you still need to worship me because I will help you through everything and guide you through your life"

The sermon, which is when the Pastor (the leader of our church) stands up to speak to us about the bible was awesome.

This wasn't the bible verse in which the Pastor was referring to, but it was a reminder for me:

"ASK and it will be given to you, SEEK and you will find, KNOCK and the door will be opened to you." 

Impossible as it sounds in crazy weird scenarios, it works, its real. Kinda cool. Actually, its really cool.

As human as I am, I'm still annoyed at my rents and right this moment, I'm not wanting to be around them for a while just so I can get rid of this anger and grudge I've got against them right this minute, but its not helping when my mum is playing the piano in the next room. It's like shes proclaiming "HEY LISA, you can't escape me, I still exist and I'm right in the next room" 

ANGER!

but 'life goes on.. how many brothers fell victim to the streets, rest in peace young nigga theres a heaven for a G' heh heh

xx

the eventful (?) starcity night, and the 6+ hours M>R

So Thursday was Katie's birthday dinner at 3one7 in Parramatta. Then we headed to 'The Chocolate Room' where some of Katie's school friends prepared a cake for her, made of small chocolate pieces with all these intricate patterns and shapes for each individual one. But instead of trying to explain it, heres a picture.

So after that, Aaron was driving me home and we were passing through Darling Harbour and Starcity (sort of) so we decided to go see around. I'd only ever been to Starcity as a child (about 10 years ago. wow......i      am    ancient.) for the food/buffet. So Aaron showed me the REAL life of Starcity. Being there for the first time, i was feeling somewhat bubbly and excited, like a child when their icecream's JUST been given to them. Overall it was a good night. We played a bit of Roulette in which Aaron won some money. I wont say how much because I don't want to sound like I'm encouraging you to gamble - WHICH I AM NOT. Its a depressing place, the casino. ruins families and lives. don't go there. I wish I had taken a couple of photos of the place before I left. Ehh

On Friday, I spent the day cooking from before noon, till 6pm straight.

(the M>R in the title is supposed to read 'MKR' for My Kitchen Rules. kapish? :P)

So we headed to the fishmarket to start with early in the morning. 

Boy did I see some weird fish. Check this one out.

The photo on the bottom is a zoom version of the fish on the right in the top photo. Check out how strange the mouth and the eyes look. Is it deformed you ask? NOPE. All of those species of fish looked like that! 

Then I saw a calamari that got caught by fishermen whilst eating a fish. haha

The next photo is a real shocker. As I opened the boot to put the seafood in the car, I found a little surprise from the last grocery shopping I did with my mother - a mushroom and a few strawberries. Accompanying them were fruit flies - YUCK! wow I can actually smell it, just by looking at the photo.

Cleaned out the car and headed home and started cooking like machines!

Course Menu:

- Pumpkin Soup

- Cooked cold prawns and oysters

- Smoked salmon salad

- Baked Prawn, Mashed Potato and Cheese

- Scallop Stirfry

- Korean Traditional Ricecake Soup (Ddok gook)

- Galbi

- Dessert: Pineapple boat Fruit salad.

Whilst I was eating, I had a sudden realisation about life which made me laugh...in disbelief. We cooked for over 6 hours, but all that food disappeared within an hour. Life is tough. We work out butts off, to be left with nothing in a matter of minutes. Yet we still do it, just to see the happiness, the satisfaction and the enjoyment that we can bring on others. I thought that was something really amazing. Amazingly disbelief-ing.

Here are a few photos from our dinner. Once again, I wish i got a shot of every dish, but I only got a few of them, well the ones we concentrated on the decoration a lot for.

really funky discoveries i made......at home

Today was a really interesting day - for a day that was spent purely at home.

My mother taught me how to make galbi, which is this korean meat dish thats marinated in this brown sauce thing. Sort of tastes like bulgogi, but not really.

But that wasn't anywhere near the cool stuff i saw today.

We cut up some fruits after making lunch, and guess what this fruit is below...

its GREEN, and it looks like a rockmelon, but guess what it is?

its a GREEN ROCKMELON! (rockmelons are usually orange for those who are confused)

it had no flavour which was a shame..

for dinner, we had sweet potatoes and corn. 

have you ever had sweet potatoes that are purple, and white at the same time? cos i have.

this one even looks like the moon and the star on the Malaysian flag. haha (yes i had to google it. i got confused with the flag of China)

trippy huh?! so that ends my day of cool discoveries in my home :)

xx

ooooft, the first blog you've all been waiting for.... or maybe just ryan

HELLO! and welcome to my blog page!

i didn't realise how simple it is to write up a blog o.O"

just too easy..

so i'm usually the type to end up rambling on, so this blog will be short (?) and sweet and capture the good, the bad, and definitely the ugly of today's events :)

first up, joyce, jasmine and i headed to bondi beach today. 33 degrees, with a sunny atmosphere - simply perfect.

we had our fun and joy, and the water was AMAZINGLY clear, sparkling, and dead set blue. i've never seen any water that clear and perfect before. (+1 for the good)

the water however, was absolutely freezing (+1 for the bad)

then joyce and i ate the most scrumptious McChicken burger today. crisp chicken with sofft tender insides, crisp bread but extraordinarily soft at the same time. wow, this was one amazing mcdonald burger. (+1 for the good)

bought these lovely friendship anklets shall i say? with the girls. they're really cool (+1 for the good)

went for an interview with joyce for the 'i heart unsw' committee for 2010. it went semi-okay. (+1 for 'i dont know what its a plus 1 for..')

came home and realised how sunburnt i actually got from today's uber hot sun (+1 for the UGLY)